"Everyone's a little curious. . . aren't you?"

I'm gonna blow my head off

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blog-bpToday I am in snowy Toronto awaiting a phone-call interview to work as a bartender at Boston Pizza about 2 hours away from my home by bus…I don’t own a car anymore.

In the last two weeks I have had 9 auditions and zero bookings.

This year's Oscar nominations were just announced.

I’m gonna need a haircut if I want this bar-tending job, which I don’t.

I turn 42 on Sunday…assuming I don’t blow my head off before then. Due to strict Canadian gun regulations I’m thinking car exhaust may be a better bet…assuming someone lends me their car.

GK screened at the LA Comedy Fest

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lafesrtGK screened at the LA Comedy Fest this past weekend. Whenever GK screens it’s a reminder of how delusional am. I keep thinking (hoping) that I’m going to get a call from Will Ferrell or Kevin Smith or Quentin Tarentino the day after a screening telling me that I’m exactly what they’ve been looking for and I need to fly to LA for “meetings” so that I can be wined, dined, and paid!

The reality is I wake up in Toronto, apply for jobs I don’t want because I don’t audition anymore, and hope to hell that I die before I have to spend my last twenty bucks on my new Staples staff outfit that doesn’t fit properly.

Slutty nurses

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partyhoBeen living here in Toronto a year and this weekend we are throwing our first party! My wife was pushing for a themed or costumed party but I quickly reminded her that none of my friends would come in costume and if I insisted, none of them would come at all. Personally, I find adult costume parties disconcerting. There are always those freaks who show up in character and then there are the wives and girlfriends of friends dressed as slutty nurses or teachers or nuns that get me in trouble when I am caught staring just a little too long…what can I say, I’m a sucker for sluts.

GAYKEITH premiered

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blog-openingGAYKEITH premiered this week at the Downtown Film Festival of Los Angeles to a sold out crowd of 400.  About 20 people from the cast and crew of GK were in attendance.  Apparently, despite the complete absence of any promotion or introduction by the festival, it was still a tremendous hit.  I had a few drinks in my honour from my reclining chair back home in east Toronto.  It was a bitter sweet night as GAYKEITH made its world debut and I searched Craigslist for part-time work…Did I mention I am feeling fatter than usual today?

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