My fear of letting people down had suddenly found a whole room of people to let down
Wow. Yesterday was a trip! Sure, I’ve been nervous about the film and as far as my acting is concerned I’m a little out of practice but when I arrived for rehearsal early on Saturday and saw a room filled with people breaking down each job and scene and action and moment I almost shat my pants. Suddenly everything was very very real and a random dark sexual episode of my life was really about to become more than just public knowledge. My fear of letting people down had suddenly found a whole room of people to let down and it suddenly occurred to me that this was really happening and not just another tangential thought that never finds fruition. Everyone I met was awesome and encouraging and excited and working really hard to make sure they do their best job possible and here I was…some dude who got bored enough to try on some gay for the night. It’s safe to say I never had any idea that my perversion would be my foot in the proverbial Hollywood door and I never imagined that oral sex would be my big break…I’m just a whore like everyone else.