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Today is my sister’s birthday

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em003Today is my sister’s birthday. It’s also the day before I leave.  It’s also the day I must reach some sort of peace between my wife and I so I don’t head to land of deviance and expressed desire with a Wall of China-sized wedge between Mer and I.  I’m so afraid to go back to the place I never quite called home for the past 15 years, especially when everything here in Toronto is so up in the air and nowhere near settled. What if I get to LA and I don’t want to leave?  What if I return from LA and I can no longer pretend that Toronto is my new home?  I know that I am more worried about missing Vern the Dog than my wife since at least she understands the concept of a trip… Plus my stomach hurts all the time.  Always churning, not quite settled and never feeling empty, satisfied, or at all quiet.  I’m either nervous or dying…
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