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Ravens lost

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em005Ravens lost. Mer and I aren’t talking. Poker night only served to illustrate my asshole tendencies to a wider audience and I am officially a walking train wreck with an intrusive double chin now that I shaved my lumberjack beard at the request of Herr director…
I’m beginning to think this trip is a time spike like no other in the timeline continuum of the life that is mine.  A spike for my career…A spike in my marriage which teeters on the precipice of disaster as I become a bigger dick with less patience and money but a stronger desire to drink or smoke my way through every evening instead of being the other half of something real…Sure, I could blame my wife for a lot of things but I am 9 years her senior and supposed to be the stronger, more mature person.

But the biggest spike that comes to mind as I wonder if the big one will hit in LA or my plane will crash or I will say or do something on or off set that is completely unacceptable to the thickest skinned of people…the spike I fear most is the one that flags the change of everything in my past as I turn a page and become something I have only dreamed and feared for the last 20 or so years…Will I still know where my home will be if I actually become a success, any kind of success, in this journey/adventure that I can’t help loving and loathing all at the same time…
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